Rules

As a member of The Key Social Club I agree to the following:

1. I agree that I’m joining a private organization, not open to the public. As a member of The Key I willingly and with full consent and knowledge waive and relinquish any claim, legal or otherwise, that I might make as to the offensive nature of anything I might see or experience while a member of this organization.

2. I agree not to bring or consume any illegal substances to any gathering at The Key.

3. I agree to consume alcoholic beverages in a responsible manner. I will not become intoxicated to a level I can not make good decisions. I will not become intoxicated to a point where I can no longer give or revoke consent.

4. I understand that activities at The Key may be of a sexual nature and may include the practices of bondage and discipline, sadomasochism, power exchange between consenting adults, homosexuality, bisexuality, heterosexuality, swinging, group sexual activities and other fetishes.

5. I will never solicit for, negotiate or consent to any form of payment for sex, play, or any other activity at an event at The Key. I am aware that such conduct may be considered illegal in Wisconsin.

6. I assume the risk of injury to myself or my property while in attendance of an event at The Key and I agree to hold harmless, The Key, the building, persons volunteering at events, persons working at events, or persons attending events.

7. I agree to not use a camera, cell phone, or any other device capable of take photos, videos or recording voices without the permission of ALL participants involved in the photo/recording. FURTHER, I agree not to share or publish the photo/recording with anyone or anywhere without the permission of ALL participants involved. I am aware that if I violate this rule, my device will be taken and images deleted. If it is found that I have violated this rule after an event, I will be banned from all future events and potentially reported for consent violation. `

8. I agree not to smoke or vape inside or on the porches/balconies of the property. I agree to smoke in the designated area.

9. I agree to treat the house and the contents inside with care and respect. I realize that I am responsible for damages I may make, intentionally or accidentally to the house and contents including furniture. I also agree to notify someone on staff immediately if I cause damage to anything. I will expenses regarding the repair or replacement of the damages.

10. I agree that there is NO SEXUAL PLAY of any kind OUTSIDE. I will keep conversations that may be overheard to a non sexual nature. I know that neighbors didn’t consent to a play party

11. Specific play space rules:

Typical play space etiquette is required. Do not intrude into a scene unless specifically invited by the participant. Do not touch anyone or anyone’s gear without their permission.
Only water may be brought into the dungeon or to the second floor.
Watching is encouraged, but give the participants their space. Keep your voices to a minimum and speak at a low volume. DO NOT ask the participants questions while the scene is in progress.
DMs (Dungeon Monitors) must be obeyed at all times. Failure to do so will result in you being asked to leave the dungeon.
Do not enter a bedroom on the second floor unless invited in by participants in the room.
Take proactive measures to keep messes to a minimum. (Use puppy pads, tarps, etc to catch messes you anticipate will occur.)
Get consent to touch BEFORE touching a person anywhere on their body.
Clean up after yourself by wiping down dungeon furniture, removing dirty/wet sheets, and throwing away condoms, condom wrappers, lube packets, etc.

12. I will clean up after myself. This includes but isn’t limited to: changing sheets I’ve dirtied, throwing out used cups, bottles and plates, disposing of condoms in designated trash cans, and putting cigarette butts in appropriate containers.

13. The name I am presenting is my legal name. I am 21 or older.

Keys to Success at Swinger Events

Consent - Consent is everything. You only have one reputation. Treat it carefully. Before engaging in any activity make sure you have the consent of all parties involved. That can range from giving someone a hug to having sex. Other things may require consent as well, such as taking photos, getting or sharing contact information and touching peoples’ belongings.

When it comes to play, be clear. Ask the person before doing things and be specific. It doesn’t have to sound like you’re asking them a questionnaire, but you do want to make sure you are clear.. For example, saying, “Wanna go play?” sounds great, but that can mean so many things. It’s much better to say. “Wanna go play? I’d love to go down on you, get you really wet, and then fuck you. I’d love to fill you with cum.” The second example tells what the initiator wants to do. Now the person being asked knows what they are giving consent to do. They could accept the offer as is - “Sounds great! Let’s go!”, reject the offer completely - “I’m flattered, but my answer is no.” or clarify expressing their own boundaries. “Wow, that sounds amazing. I’d love for you to go down on me, but if you want to fuck me, my partner would have to be present. We only play together, and we always use condoms with new partners.”

And don’t forget your partner. Make sure you have their consent to go play with others. That’s a discussion you should have before you get to the event.

Transparency - Most people in the lifestyle value transparency. Transparency is different from honesty. Honesty is when you tell someone the truth. Transparency is when you are proactive in sharing information, even when not asked. If you invite someone out to lunch and they spent the night before with the flu but felt well enough to join you for lunch, you’d likely be upset if the next day you were sick in the bathroom with the same flu your friend gave you. Your friend might argue they didn’t do anything wrong. You never asked them if they had been feeling sick. Most people would argue that you shouldn’t have to. We can’t ask everyone everything. If your friend had been transparent, they would have disclosed that information knowing it might be important to you. They should have said, “I was sick last night with the flu, but I’m feeling better now. Do you still want to meet for lunch?” Then it would have been your choice. It is true in the lifestyle. It is always best to ask people their relationship status, STI status, relevant medical questions, but as responsible community members, we shouldn’t wait for someone to ask us. We should feel confident in saying things like, “I’m at this event single, but I am legally married. My spouse doesn’t attend events.” or “I have tested positive for HSV, the herpes virus, but I haven’t had an outbreak in over three years.” or “I am diabetic, but I regulate my blood sugar with diet and my insulin pump, so I am able to participate in the impact scene, but please watch me for signs of distress.”

Once again, we each only have one reputation. You do not want to be known as a person or a couple who hides their STI status, who “cheats” on their partner behind his or her back, or who engages in dangerous play. If you think it could be relevant, share the information. The more transparent you are, the less likely you are to have miscommunication and drama.

Sobriety - Alcohol is the number one reason people have been banned from The Key. Some people drink too much or become high and then they struggle to follow the rules. They might talk too loud, annoying people. They may become overly touchy, violating people’s consent. Often drunk or high people become sleepy. Want to annoy a host, fall asleep during their party so they have to try to figure out what to do with you so they can go to bed. That’s a sure fire way to never get invited back to a party. I also don’t think anyone is better in bed impaired than sober.

Keep in mind if you say, “I have to have some drinks so I can ____________” you are literally saying you would not do that sober. That means you’re not really giving consent.

When attending lifestyle events, check their policy before attending. The Key allows alcohol if you bring it. There is a zero tolerance for any drugs that are illegal in Wisconsin at The Key. Many BDSM clubs don’t allow alcohol or drugs at all. Once again, check the venue’s policy before attending

Be Prepared - Know yourself and anticipate some of your needs. Here are a few staples that everyone should bring to a swinger event.

Condoms - even if the place says they provide them, who knows if they run out, if they are the kind you like, etc.

Lube - again, the venue might have some, but you never know if the could run out, and it might not be the kind you like or it might be one your body reacts poorly to. A swinger party is not the time to experiment with your genitals and allergies. Lol

Puppy pads or waterproof blanket - some places have puppy pads, but they are small and move. If you’re a squirter, invest in a waterproof blanket. Tip: buy a “pet" one, they are cheaper than a “sex” blanket and they are the same.

snacks/drinks - if you get hungry or thirsty, you don’t always know what parties have. Keep some crackers or a packet of beef jerky in your bag in case you’re really hungry and need something after long play.

Change of clothes - Have you ever tried to put back on a body stocking after participating in an orgy? It’s not fun. When the party is over and you just want to get to your car, hit the taco bell on the way home (George Web if you’re fancy) and sleep, the last thing you want to do is get dressed up just to get to the car. You’re 1 am self, will appreciate a sweatshirt and a pair of sweatpants or leggings just to get to the car.

Open Minded- This covers so many things. First, we are an inclusive space. We not only practice tolerance, but we practice acceptance of people of different races, ethnic backgrounds, genders and sexual orientations at The Key. You’re likely going to see some things that are new and different for you. Try to keep an open mind and don’t judge. Remember, what is one person’s strange is another person’s normal.